From Russia, With Shove Pt II
So I’m sitting at some fancy whorehouse with some my Russian cohorts, waiting for Eugene the Gypsy to come to town and rescue me from their well-intentioned-but-somewhat-overbearing clutches, when this fancy French international banker dude who knows somebody comes along and insists we all go to some fucking trendy new “Mexican cantina” in downtown Moscow where they supposedly have a “great rock and roll band.”
Oh yeh, that’s just where I wanna go in Moscow! To listen to some crummy third-rate Russian cover band butchering already crappy outdated American music for a handful of drunken ex-pat office workers, KGB wannabees and other assorted lowlife cunts and wankers.
We went there. To some it up in two words: Boring! Next? After enduring a weird Mongolian Elvis impersonater for awhile, finally I can’t take it anymore.
I make a face and this fool says, “What, you don’t like Elvis Presley?”
“Elvis,” I say, “was a racist redneck punk with a little style who basically just ripped off his music from a bunch of people he considered dirty niggers. Genius Bluesmen who he wouldn’t have pissed on if their hair caught fire!”
“Well 500 million fans can’t be wrong!” The french guy says.
“Yeh they can!” I spit back. “Just look on TV sometime..”
“Aww, forget him,” my friend says. “He’s French. They like Jerry Lewis there…”
“Hey, man! What’s wrong with Jerry Lewis? I mean besides being a retard?”
“You said it. He’s a retard!” My friend says.
“Retards are funny…” I replied as we walked out to go find another whorehouse.
Tasha said,
January 19, 2010 at 12:52 pm
good times. LOL