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So the day went in a blurry surreal series of impressions and events till I look at my watch and suddenly its two in the afternoon and Narcisa’s saying we should go to the beach. It’s a beautiful, hot, hazy day- perfect for a ride to the beach- but first of all she needs to get some crack and I try to explain that its not exactly the right drug for the beach, but of course her mind’s already made up. She tells me to have an open mind and try something new cause she knows that’s gonna shut me up… and it does.

So she runs off without a backwards glance while I just get on the bike and go down the road and find a little boteco and sit down and get a plate of food, but before I can even finish she’s calling me on the phone asking me where I am.”Where are you Cigano???”… Turns out she finished smoking and went back to where I guess I was supposed to be waiting for her to finish- fuck my lunch- and when I wasn’t there she flew into a mad panic and started running around the very dangerous favela like a headless horseman of the apocolypse till she found a phone and I told her I was just eating and I’d be right back to get her, but as soon as I got back in five minutes she was so stressed out she said fuck the beach “right now Cigano go go go” and that was it.Then I took off in disappointment to the beach all alone, as usual, as she went to smoke her crack and ruin her life some more.Just as I pulled the motorcycle up beside the waves my cell phone rings and it’s her calling collect but by now I’m so pissed off and disappointed and sick of her crackhead bullshit I don’t even answer and that’s that until I get home after nightfall and she calls and I pick up and she says don’t be mad at me and I say I’m not and I go and pick her up at some friend’s house where she’s holed up.She always has all these angels of mercy to look after her all the time, all over the place, cause that’s Narcisa (God love her) and so many people love her too in spite of herself. So I get her and bring her home and she’s so calm and civilized I’m curious now about this friend of hers cause I notice that every time she spends time at this guy’s house she always comes back calm and nice, and I know it’s a real friend, a platonic pal and not some trick.She’s been telling each of us about the other for days now…So after a crazy Dakini dance-fuck she’s looking so sexy and beautiful I don’t even want to risk her walking the streets and picking up another trick like the night before, so I drop her at her friend’s house myself. He’s an alkie and drinks himself into a stupor and doesn’t mind her creeping around in her paranoid hell so it works out. I split saying I’ll be back in a couple of hours and I’m thinking I’ll go up to the Vila and have a go at the little angel from last night but sleep deprivation kicks in and I wind up passing out for an hour at home.When I wake up it’s time to go look for Narcisa so I go back up there and suddenly she appears in a window of a house across from the Casa Verde, the squat she holes up in sometimes, and she wants me to come up and meet her friend Marcos, the one she’s always so nice and calm after hanging out with. So I go up there and he wakes up out of an alkie nap on the veranda just as she brings me in and we shake hands and start talking and after five minutes it turns out we are kindred spirits and know all the same people from 30 years ago and we have so much in common its spooky and it’s this big Bohemian meeting of the minds and we end up talking there on the veranda for hours while she’s off smoking her crack but it’s all a good vibe and she’s so calm and there’s jazz playing on the stereo and a light rain begins to fall and she finishes smoking and comes over and sits on my lap and it’s still a good vibe.I keep talking with Marcos about art and literature and he’s very curious about the book I’ve written about Narcisa, all her cronies over at the Casa Verde are buzzed out about it too and, while this Marcos keeps that bunch at arm’s length, he’s a neighbor and diplomatic about it being on friendly terms with some of the less heinous denizens over there.So they’re all talking about it, thank God none of them have read it- but it’s a good night and finally it’s time to go for cigarettes and he wants a beer and she wants more crack she goes back to the spot to go smoke while Me and Marcos go down to the old Paderia Santo Amaro, the late night bohemian gathering spot. It’s uncanny how many of the same people we’ve known in common over the years and we hang out and talk into the rainy saturday dawn until she shows up all frazzled and shot and it’s time to go home and she’s the homeless waif with cosmic fishbowl eyes and it’s time to crash and she keeps going and she’s driving me crazy.It’s 8 in the morning and I want I just want to fuck her so bad and all she wants to do is keep smoking…. and she never finishes ever ever and I am so tired so tired so fucking tired and I know its all part of her plot and now I remember what her friend Marcos said earlier, a million years ago, when I told him I’d never suffered so much for any woman in my life…He just looked at me and shook his head and said you ain’t seen nothing yet my friend…

Shit.

 Copyright Jonathan Shaw 2008. All Rights Reserved.NOTIFIÇAO: Os eventos neste site são contos de ficção - registrados na Biblioteca Nacional com todos os direitos autorais revertidos ao autor, Jonathan Shaw. Os personagens mencionados são interamente ficticios. Certos eventos, personagens, lugares e relatos foram baseados em fatos reais, porém qualquer semelhança a qualquer pessoa vivo ou morta se trata de pura coincidência.As vários fotografias apresentadas se encontram com o rosto distorcido para preservar o anonimato das modelos que representam personagens fictícios.